May 20th, 2008

Steve Morrow files his unemployment papers

By: Robert | Comments 2 Comments

Peace…Here I was all ready to boycott any FC Dallas discussions for a day and post a review of the new McDonald’s Southern Style Chicken sandwich in protest of their recent poor play and the Hoops go and fire their coach (for any European readers that means they sacked their manager) thus negating any possible shunning.

Side Note: Where did the term “sack” come from? By that same note how did “fire” originate?

Anyways, apparently Hoops brass are less forgiving than I, because I was willing to allow Steve Morrow one more shot to try and fix the mess he has created but alas he is a Hoop no more.

Do I rejoice, do I sulk, I don’t know right now because I have to get ready for the 10PM News It may even get a mention on the air and wouldn’t that be something…but regardless I can’t disagree with this move. There is a great team hiding in the shadows of Pizza Hut Park and it’ll be up to Marco Ferruzi in the interim (and maybe further into the future) to find them.

So for tonight in Dallas, the FC stands for “Forced Changes.”

HOOPS PRIDE!

FC Dallas logo


Category Category: Team News

May 19th, 2008

Look up ‘Terrible’ in the dictionary

By: Robert | Comments 8 Comments

It didn’t take long for the people over at dictionary.com to add to their definition of “terrible…”

It’s in there…

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Category Category: Game Analysis
May 19th, 2008

MLS’ Worst XI

By: Robert | Comments 7 Comments

That about says it…

Dario Sala, Duilio Davino, Pablo Ricchetti, Abe Thompson, Juan Toja, Andre Rocha, Arturo Alvarez, Drew Moor, Adrian Serioux, Anthony Wallace, Kenny Cooper

That’s it, that’s the list. If you can’t tell that’s yesterday’s lineup from the public beating match versus the LA Galaxy. Those guys were terrible, an absolute embarrassment to the Hoops shirt. I don’t even know where to begin. It seems like Steve Morrow’s plan for MLS glory this season goes something like this:

Step 1) Start undefeated against some of the stronger teams in the league.
Step 2) Embarrass self against the weaker sides
Step 3) ???
Step 4) PROFIT!!!

I don’t get how it’s supposed to work either.

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Category Category: Game Analysis
May 12th, 2008

Why Eddie Johnson failed at Fulham.

By: Robert | Comments 4 Comments

I know this has nothing to do with FC Dallas and I don’t want to step on TimmyG’s toes over at the Fulham blog. But their season is finally over and I wanted to discuss what we have all seen transpire in England because I have recently found photographic evidence that Eddie Johnson’s foray into Premier League soccer was doomed to fail from the start. Not because of their style of play or his appalling lack of aggression (or top-level talent) but because of this…

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Category Category: Talking Trash
May 8th, 2008

Where is FC Dallas?

By: Robert | Comments 2 Comments

Its been waaay too long since I’ve been able to post. In the time that has passed I’ve left my position as a radio station producer to go work in television (TV money is far superior) and that transition has taken me away from my Hoops. But the biggest reason I’ve been unable to get post has been the work of Time Warner or the non-work of Time Warner. I’ve been off the web for about two weeks but now my internet is back so I can catch up on all that I have missed (I still havent seen the FC Dallas/San Jose game…I dont even know the result).

But fear not Hoop fans, the most whimsical, fun-filled, beautiful women infested (is that really an infestation?) FC Dallas blog since…I don’t know, is back and running.

And just to get things started again on a fun note, here’s this story.

So rejoice tonight in Dallas tonight because I’m back, my internet is running and the FC stands for “finally connected.”

HOOPS PRIDE!

FC Dallas logo


Category Category: Team News
April 25th, 2008

Life as a soccer fan in America and the New England/FC Dallas game recap.

By: Robert | Comments 3 Comments

“You want to watch what?!?” Samantha asked.
“Soccer” I replied.
“I-I-I don’t think we get that.”
“Just turn to ESPN2”

Fun times for allAnd with that, my adventure began. I didn’t want to watch the FC Dallas/New England Revolution game at home so I decided to go somewhere where soccer was not king (pretty easy to find…I chose Buffalo Wild Wings), attempt to watch the game and live the events that transpired. I brought my notebook to take notes about the game and my experiences, so what follows is to the best of my ability completely accurate.

I decided to sit in the main room, right in front of a television. If I was any distance from a TV set showing soccer people may assume no ones watching and try to change the channel. So I’m here at a table for four, alone. I wonder how this looks. You know what strikes me as odd though, besides the MLS game, there are the NBA playoffs on tonight (and I think hockey as well) and yet all the TV’s have either NFL draft coverage or some BW3’s trivia game; such is life in a football (American version) mad city.

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Category Category: Game Analysis
April 24th, 2008

Beautiful women rank soccer players.

By: Robert | Comments 1 Comment

FC Dallas beats Chivas 2-0

Welcome once again to my world famous player ranking system…the one with girls. By now you should already understand the concept. Better play = more attractive women. But if for some reason you need a refresher course, here’s the original concept.

Today, we’re discussing the Hoops 2-0 win over Chivas USA. If you missed my game recap, click here, but since I’m sure you’re already saying “Robert, skip the intro, show me the ladies,” let’s get to the fun.

Read the rest of this entry »


Category Category: Game Analysis
April 22nd, 2008

50 Cent writes a song for FC Dallas!!!

By: Robert | Comments Add Comments

I don’t want to turn this “music lyrics as form of sports analysis” into a regular thing here because I’m sure it’s been done before somewhere else. But sometimes inspiration strikes and yesterday while I was at the gym (longtime readers will remember something like this is my New Year’s resolution) 50 Cent’s “I Get Money” shuffled itself across my iPod and it hit me, “He’s talking about the Hoops.”

For those of you that have never heard 50’s hit single, the video is linked below. He spends almost the entire song throwing the gauntlet down on simple extravagances such as TV’s in the headrest or 24 inch Giovanni rims and redefines what ballin’ truly is (are you starting to see the FC Dallas metaphor yet?) Anyways, after the jump is a recap of the most recent Hoops win over Chivas USA narrated by one, Curtis Jackson.

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Category Category: Game Analysis
April 21st, 2008

FC Dallas to Manchester United: Bring it on!!!

By: Robert | Comments 3 Comments

Bring it!!!

If FC Dallas is not better than Manchester United then we’re the closest ones. (shout out to Jay-Z)

Yeah, you read that right.

No wait, lemme change something.

FC Dallas is better than Manchester United.

Okay, I’m getting a bit carried away.

As you can tell I’m feeling real good right now. Another 2-0 victory, this time over everyone’s (except mine) preseason favorite to lift silverware, Chivas USA; FC Dallas now stands alone as the only undefeated team in the league.

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Category Category: Talking Trash
April 17th, 2008

Bobby “the Brain” Heenan discusses FC Dallas, Beckham and more.

By: Robert | Comments 1 Comment

Welcome to an extra-special FC Dallas post, today I have “put together” an “interview” with former wrestler/manager/wrestling commentator and legend Bobby “the Brain” Heenan. If you don’t know the man’s work, where were you in the 80s?

But have no fear I tracked down a clip of his stuff on Youtube (although I’ll be honest, in my opinion this is not his best) to get you up to speed. Heenan and I “discussed” FC Dallas, David Beckham, and many other topics involved with Major League Soccer. So to quote the man himself, “pay attention humanoids!”

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Category Category: Game Analysis

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