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Life as a soccer fan in America and the New England/FC Dallas game recap.
By: Robert |
3 Comments
“You want to watch what?!?” Samantha asked.
“Soccer” I replied.
“I-I-I don’t think we get that.”
“Just turn to ESPN2”
And with that, my adventure began. I didn’t want to watch the FC Dallas/New England Revolution game at home so I decided to go somewhere where soccer was not king (pretty easy to find…I chose Buffalo Wild Wings), attempt [...]
Category: Game Analysis
Tags: Buffalo Wild Wings, Game Analysis, Life as a soccer fan in America, Miley Cyrus, New England Revolution, TriviaBeautiful women rank soccer players.
By: Robert | 1 Comment
Welcome once again to my world famous player ranking system…the one with girls. By now you should already understand the concept. Better play = more attractive women. But if for some reason you need a refresher course, here’s the original concept.
Today, we’re discussing the Hoops 2-0 win over Chivas USA. If you missed my [...]
Category: Game Analysis50 Cent writes a song for FC Dallas!!!
By: Robert | No Comments
I don’t want to turn this “music lyrics as form of sports analysis” into a regular thing here because I’m sure it’s been done before somewhere else. But sometimes inspiration strikes and yesterday while I was at the gym (longtime readers will remember something like this is my New Year’s resolution) 50 Cent’s “I Get [...]
Category: Game AnalysisFC Dallas to Manchester United: Bring it on!!!
By: Robert | 3 Comments
If FC Dallas is not better than Manchester United then we’re the closest ones. (shout out to Jay-Z)
Yeah, you read that right.
No wait, lemme change something.
FC Dallas is better than Manchester United.
Okay, I’m getting a bit carried away.
As you can tell I’m feeling real good right now. Another 2-0 victory, this time over everyone’s [...]
Category: Talking TrashBobby “the Brain” Heenan discusses FC Dallas, Beckham and more.
By: Robert | 1 Comment
Welcome to an extra-special FC Dallas post, today I have “put together” an “interview” with former wrestler/manager/wrestling commentator and legend Bobby “the Brain” Heenan. If you don’t know the man’s work, where were you in the 80s?
But have no fear I tracked down a clip of his stuff on Youtube (although I’ll be honest, [...]
Category: Game Analysis Tags: Adrian Serioux, Bobby "the Brain" Heenan, David Beckham, Drew Moor, Duilio Davino, Game Analysis, Houston Dreamsicles, Juan Toja, Kenny Cooper, Landon Donovan, RefereesPlayer Rankings…with girls!!!
By: Robert | 4 Comments
Welcome to the world’s most favorite player ranking system, the one with the girls. If you missed my New York Red Bull game recap check it out here. But if you just want to see scantily dressed, beautiful women stop reading now and skip ahead.
If anyone was looking for another reason to root for [...]
Category: Game AnalysisGuns and Roses, FC Dallas, what more do you need?
By: Robert | 4 Comments
I was thinking of ways to help transform Pizza Hut Park into one of the world’s most imposing places to play, right along the likes of Estadio da Luz, La Bombonera and anywhere in Italy where they throw motorcycles, pig head’s and refrigerators off the top balcony when “Welcome to the Jungle” came on (It’s [...]
Category: Game AnalysisTony Kornheiser is wrong about America (and why he probably needs to re-think his views on soccer)
By: Robert | 4 Comments
“It’s not our game” – Tony Kornheiser
Words we’ve heard over the airwaves many times whenever the beautiful game is discussed on PTI. These four words are used to hide the fact Tony Kornheiser knows little about soccer other than the existence of Pelé and David Beckham. And although we know his “our” is a euphemism [...]
Category: Game AnalysisLaughing at Houston
By: Robert | 2 Comments
This has been done before, I know, but not by me therefore it’s new (in a Goodwill/Salvation Army kind of way).
It’s a well known fact that I really don’t like Houston and its been awhile since I made fun of it. Anyone that’s ever been there will tell you that Houston changes who you [...]
Category: Talking TrashMore booty…
By: Robert | 2 Comments
In an effort to help boost FC Dallas ticket sales here is another installment of my whenever I feel like updating it series entitled “I wanna see your booty…in a seat at Pizza Hut Park”. A series of dedicated to finding solutions to help the FC Dallas marketing department pack the stadium each and every [...]
Category: I wanna see your booty... Tags: Cheerleaders, I wanna see your booty..., Ladies Night, Mary Carey, Morganna the kissing bandit
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