Ramon Nunez will never star in an adult film…

By: Robert | June 7th, 2007

The more feedback I get from my readers the more I start to think that maybe I have my audience pegged all wrong. Maybe I do have a sophomoric group. So consider this post an experiment in audience reaction, no matter what happens I’m not going to cut out the high-brow commentary people for some reason have come to expect from me but you may get more posts like today’s ridiculousness (this actually could turn out pretty good but the title alone is nuts…no pun intended there)

Since I assume these FC Dallas interwebs are somewhat family-friendly I’m going to put the post after the jump. So kids if you’re reading this, get your parent’s permission to click the link below; there’s no profanity or anything but the following ideas could be a bit more mature than what your parents want to believe you’re familiar with…we all know the truth but we’ll let them assume what they want.

I’m going to surmise that everyone reading this post has seen at least a piece of an adult film (The Erotic Adventures of Hercules?) although since my readers are all internet savvy enough to find this site, I think “at least a piece” might be a bit of an understatement.

*Warning usage of sexual puns, double entendres and innuendo to follow*
When you watch an adult film you want to see “scoring” and you want to see it from multiple positions on the “field,” but when you look at Ramon Nunez’ statistics from this season you start to think that maybe he’s spending too much time “playing by himself.” Nunez is in the top five in the league in total shots (32) but of those five Nunez is the only non-forward, Nunez also has the least accurate shot of that group, as only 31% of his shots even end up “in the scene” (next lowest A. Razov at 42%) What’s even more disconcerting (at least to me) is that for all these shots he’s taking, he’s not “doing the deed” with only 2 goals to his credit this season.

Something needs to be done, because unless the game is “wide open” there are only so many “shots” to be had (WOW) and Nunez’ errant attempts are keeping others from getting their chance. As frequent reader Bob pointed out Kenny Cooper looks a bit like Frankenstein, so I’m sure he wouldn’t mind a few shots passed his way as well.

Goals need to be scored, but you can’t run into a scene half-cocked (HA) thinking something good is going to happen. You got to have a plan and if that means taking the extra dribble, or passing the ball then that’s what you have to do. Because any director will tell you the camera can only roll for a certain amount of time before it’s out of film and if you don’t get the shots you’re looking for someone is in trouble. I don’t mean to be hard on Ramon(one more for the road) but we just need to remind him that this is Dallas and if something doesn’t change the FC is going to stand for “Forgettable Copulation.”

HOOPS PRIDE!

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