More booty…

By: Robert | April 9th, 2008

In an effort to help boost FC Dallas ticket sales here is another installment of my whenever I feel like updating it series entitled “I wanna see your booty…in a seat at Pizza Hut Park”. A series of dedicated to finding solutions to help the FC Dallas marketing department pack the stadium each and every game day. To see my previous suggestions click here:

Today’s ideas:

Morganna the kissing bandit – I don’t know if you remember who she was but back in the late 70s, 80s and early 90s Morganna was known as the big, buxom woman who would run out of the crowd at baseball games and plant one on some lucky player. She never really got in trouble for her actions, in fact the one time she was on trial she used the “gravity defense” saying she was so top heavy that when she leaned over the railing gravity pulled her down onto the field…and it worked (rumor has it she was 60-24-39).

While Morganna is currently “retired” I do have an idea on who can replace her, former California gubernatorial candidate and ex-porn star Mary Carey (not really a work-safe link). I can picture it now Dax McCarty lining up for a corner kick and out of the stands bounces Mary who plants one right on his check (Its gotta be the check for now because I’m not sure he’s old enough to be kissed on the lips and have that not be considered statutory rape). Anyways, the Hoops score a goal, the crowd goes wild and FC Dallas becomes the talk of the town.

And just for a point of fact, Mary Carey is not above kissing athletes in public, just ask backup Philadelphia 76ers forward Jason Smith.

Cheerleaders – Look, I’ll be honest I don’t know what the cheer is when the opposition goes offside but there’s gotta be something; besides Chivas USA is doing this already and many people are tipping them to win it all. Maybe there’s a small possibility that for some reason soccer cheerleaders equals on-field success. And its not like famous cheerleaders are foreign to the north Texas area because the Dallas Cowgirls might be bigger than any two cheer teams combined. Plus, you can even hire her, she seems up for the gig.

Ladies Night – If someone said there’s gonna be beer and a bunch of women wouldn’t you show up? So make it ladies half-off tickets or something like that and watch the guys follow. That is of course as long as these idiots don’t live near Dallas now.

How about those ideas? Do you have any of your own? Well put on your thinking cap because its time to make sure that from now on in Dallas the FC stands for “fervent cadre.”

HOOPS PRIDE!

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