Landon Donovan: Hypocrite
By: Robert | September 27th, 2007“’ I can promise everyone that I never meant to upset people or make [them] hate me.” Landon Donovan, 2005
I think we can all agree that this quote is the biggest lie told by someone representing our country since they said that the Iraq War would pay for itself (or when Bill Clinton said he didn’t have sex “with that woman”…depending on what side of the aisle you wish to sit on.) This is the definition of a “liar, liar, pants on fire” situation, to believe Landon Donovan would be to believe in the Easter Bunny or the return of Britney Spears career. He is a hypocrite of the highest order and to prove my point I have included five instances of Landon Donovan: Super-jerk purposefully acting ways that would leave one filled no other emotion than hate and/or disgust. These are in no particular order; also feel free to add your own because I’m sure he’s done more than this:
* During a qualification match for the 2002 World Cup Landon scored a goal against Mexico and proceeded to shout in Spanish “Where is Mexico?”
*After scoring LA’s fifth goal in a Superliga match against FC Dallas Landon ran over to the Hoops fans and simulated slitting their throats.
*Before a 2004 game in Mexico Landon urinated on the Chivas Guadalajara field while saying “this is my territory.” (I know the facts in this story are highly debatable but since Landon Donovan is officially on notice this is the version of the facts I’m using)
*After being given a second attempt on a penalty (he needed two chances because we all know he’s not good at these types of things) Landon showed his contempt for the military by staring down Argentine lieutenant Dario Sala.
*The undated quote “I hate Mexico” that has been attributed to him many times (Again…facts, scmacks, this is the version of truth I’m using)
Feel free to add your own because I’m sure I missed some of Landon’s “exploits.” I’m going to keep at this until I’m bored which could be awhile because in Dallas the FC stands for “fists of carnage.”
HOOPS PRIDE!
Category: Team News
Comments
-
You have, even by your own admission, maybe three actual events in your top five. Mostly I don’t like Landon because I think he’s kind of a girly-man and the hotness of his wife confuses me, but I can’t see him pissing on a pitch. I’ll believe it when I see it on YouTube, and I’m way too afraid to search for “Landon Donovan peeing” on YouTube. Nuh-uh. And #4 is just filler. His contempt for the military? That leaves you with two actual bullet points. One is the throat-cutting gesture, which LOTS of players do to fans, and which I personally kind of like. The other is the “Where’s Mexico?” comment, which should have solved itself by way of the ritual murder of Landon Donovan by Mexico fans. Meh.
-
As a galaxy fan I hate that Landon is the only thing we have that can score. I hope he gets traded, I have stated often that he is a decent player that needs penalties to score most of his goals. His speed is his one asset and that is it. I can understand why no one has sent a message to him on the pitch, heck if my salary playing pro soccer is the same as the one I make at Albertsons bagging groceries a fine and suspension would be scary. I want Beckham back and few other players, but scrap Donovan and most of the other guys. Donovan also needs to be dumped from the national team. I am tired of seeing him kill forward plays when he cuts the ball back; of course he does this because he can’t beat anyone one on one, and if he can’t out run the situation then its a Cruyff and a safe pass. I am also pissed at how many former Galaxy players are doing so good in other colors. I would take a bag of balls and some practice jerseys for Donovan and Lalas, anyone want to trade?
-
As mediocre as Donovan is, if I was a Gals fan, I’d be much more concerned with getting rid of Lalas. He’s a blight on the MLS as a league.
-
Ian, for what it’s worth the peeing on the pitch thing doesn’t seem to be a myth. I’ve read that it happened in Jalisco and was caught on tape, which could, theoretically, mean that it’s available for YouTube posting.
Since I have no pride or shame whatsoever and have personally potty trained two boys, causing the act to have no mystique whatsoever… Well, yes, I have looked. Unless I guessed wrong on the search string, it’s not there. (Hmm. Maybe I should try “Donovan tinkle”? “Donovan wee-wee”? What do you think?)
I’m not sure about the “marking territory” part of the story, though. Although I wouldn’t necessarily doubt it. Landon is such an odd combination of macho bravado testosterone and and straight girly estrogen I wouldn’t put anything past him, from serial killing to cross-dressing.
And yet, oddly, I’ve become quite fond of the guy.
-
This is pathetic and ridiculous. Half of your events you state aren’t even proven first off, and staring down the goal keeper??? Are you serious? Did you see the things that Oswaldo Sanchez would do to him and the Mexican team when he took that penalty against Mexico in the Gold Cup?
Your just another Landon hater, and it’s pathetic. Go ahead don’t admit it, but he’s the best player in our country. And people have down worse things in celebrations than say ‘Where is Mexico’ and plenty of others have used the throat slash probably, you just pick and choose what you want. Way to go, your pathetic.
-
Oh hey… blast from the (recent) past. This post had me laughing hysterically when Robert wrote it.
Home 
