Making fun of Houston Dynamo fans.

By: Robert | June 26th, 2007

I know someone’s probably thinking “Why are you picking on the Dynamo? They don’t have a blogger to defend themselves.” Well allow me to preemptively respond to that criticism; Dreamsicle fans can’t read or write, so they can’t see what I am saying and even if they could they wouldn’t be able to respond, so don’t worry about them they don’t know what’s going on anyways.

If you haven’t heard yet Saturday is a big game in MLS. “El capitan” is up for grabs, but more importantly is the direction of the western conference for the next month or so. I would say Saturday is the preeminent battle between good and evil, but those Dreamsicles wouldn’t know what “preeminent” meant so I’ll step down to their level and say it’s like Bugs Bunny versus Yosemite Sam and I’m here to dare them to “step across that line.”

So without any further Apu (I hadn’t thrown one of those references in there for awhile), my top ten favorite Houston Dynamo fan insults:

10. Houston Dynamo fans are so fat it looks like they’re smuggling Ford Escorts.

9. Houston Dynamo fans are so stupid if you tell them to squeal like a pig they’ll go “moo.”

8. Houston Dynamo fans are so stank they sweat Black Flag.

7. The Houston Dynamo girls are so fat they have to put on lipstick with a paint roller.

6. Houston Dynamo fans are so ugly they look out the window and get arrested for mooning.

5. Houston Dynamo fans are so dirty they have to creep up on bathwater.

4. Houston Dynamo fans are so fat the backs of their necks look like a pack of hot dogs.

3. Houston Dynamo fans are so stupid they take toilet paper to crap games.

2. Houston Dynamo fans are so ugly when they walk into a bank security turns the surveillance cameras off.

1. Houston Dynamo fans are so stupid when filling out job applications on the part where it says ‘sign here’ they put ‘Aquarius.’

So that’s it for today (tonight) if you got any great ones send them this way because this is Dallas where the FC stands for “Full of Comedy” (yeah, I know ‘of’ is in there, but these aren’t easy.)

HOOPS PRIDE!

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