Grab your wallets, we got new kits!

By: Robert | March 4th, 2008

As MLS clubs continue to try and bolster their profit margins, each new season comes replete with a new kit to drop $69.95 on. A few days ago the team released this year’s version and if you couldn’t tell from the subtle contempt in my opening sentence I am not a fan. Allow me to unleash my inner Richard Blackwell on this stack of polyester.

Kenny Cooper and Drew Moor in new kits

Home (Red)

I don’t know who picked the team models but why is the largest guy on the field running around in all that red? Kenny Cooper is three white stripes away from knocking down a brick wall and yelling “Oh yeah!” Secondly, while red and white go together beautifully, like me and Jessica Alba, the blue on that kit seems like an unwanted house guest; staying too long, spreading out over too large an area and using up all the toilet paper. The blue stripes on the shoulders are fine but on the shorts, that probably should have been white.

Away (Blue)

The shorts are perfect and while the shirt makes Drew Moor look a little Captain America-ish I have no problems with it (although you should probably click that link).

Back of new kit

The back

The backs of both shirts are roughly the same so I’ll discuss them together. First, the all-white back destroys the principle of the term “Hoops” and its corresponding “Hoops Pride.” I know some may claim FC Dallas weren’t real Hoops in the first place but I enjoyed the Hoops pride and even found myself rooting for Celtic from time to time, now I don’t know what to do. Also, that font looks all wrong; it’s got a techno-new age, computer style to it which would be fine if the team was called FC Silicon Valley, it doesn’t seem to fit the culture of Dallas. Allow me to repost this video so you can understand what I mean.

Alright that’s enough for my couture criticism, I guess tonight in Dallas the FC stands for “fashion correspondent.”

HOOPS PRIDE?

FC Dallas logo

(HT: 3rd degree)

UPDATE: Turns out I was wrong, apparently Celtic also have white backs on their shirts. How long has this been going on? And is anyone a real Hoop anymore? I guess I can still yell “HOOPS PRIDE” with pride.